I’ve been MIA for a while because I went to Florida for a week with some friends for Spring Break. We officially got back yesterday, and this morning I weighed myself like I do every Sunday morning. After a week of binge drinking and ridiculous eating, I somehow managed to gain 6.5 LBS, which should freak me out but it’s not. I know that I can easily shed that and be back on track within a few days.

I’m going on a spring break trip to Panama City Beach, FL on Saturday for a week. That’s a week of nonstop drinking, crap eating and absolutely no self control. Wish me luck. I’m excited to get away from here, but at the same time being in a different place with no routine scares the shit out of me. Here’s hoping I don’t come back weighing ten extra pounds.

Everything’s going wrong today. It started last night, and I just wanted to hop in my car and drive away. And I did. I didn’t know where I was going, I just drove north until I cried as much as I could have and I headed back home. Then I holed myself up in my basement and went to sleep super early. Woke up super early this morning, and made myself a nasty sandwich and managed to go back to bed again. Ugh. I hate not being at work. There are too many temptations at home. I hate my grandmother living at this house. She judges everything I consume, and judges when I’m not eating any of her nasty grease food. I miss my boyfriend like crazy, I can’t believe he’s been gone for more than a month already. I just want to be alone, but I hate it when I’m alone and my mind wanders and thinks of the most ridiculously depressing scenarios. I can’t help it. Everything’s fucked.

And on top of that, I bought a coffee and ended up dropping the cup on my way out of the car. FUCK. I just want to eat and stuff my face until I vomit.

Weigh-in Sunday is another success :D I did try pretty hard this week, restricted a lot of food and drank liquids like crazy. Here we go:

SW: 188.6 LBS (85.5 KG)

Previous weight: 176.5 LBS (80.1 KG)

CW: 172.3 LBS (78.2 KG)

Week’s deficit: -4.2 LBS (-1.9 KG)

Total loss: -16.3 LBS (-7.4 KG)

Yaaaay :D

cig-arettes:

1. Tidy your room. Not only will a tidy room help tidy your mind, you’ll be so busy you’ll forget your cravings. Put on some music and enjoy yourself with something non-food related.
2. Give yourself a manicure. You can’t stuff your face with wet nails, right?
3. Watch a movie, the gorier the better.

I’d just like to put this out there.

Calling me a fat cow and telling me I’m physically disgusting in my inbox, although not entirely polite and considerate, is, by all means, WELCOME :D

Seriously anons, if you’ve got something to say to me, especially if it’s negative feedback about my own weight, go for it! I know I’m gross and I know I’m no where near my UGW, but hey, that’s why I’m here. I’m working on it. And so your negative comments are a great motivation, so keep ‘em coming if you must. I looove it!

Love,

Fat ass.